Well, Its been some days i haven't been blogging eh? Things hasn't be good to me. Studying hard for my n level so as common test. Have to take care about school and church stuff too. I'm so tired. Well, N level practical for CPA started today. It went okay. Wasn't putting much affort. Was freaking cold and i ended up sick, having this stupid flu. GOSH!

I don't know what to say about him now. Its just that, things change after what happen. I tried so hard to talk to him as a friend. He ended up ignoring me and now i was told that he planning to change church. What the hell la! Why do he want to change? Its like, His been in this church longer then me. Saying want to change seems nothing to him. I don't want him to go. I really don't want. Hais. I told jonathon how i feels and he went to tell him. All he can come and sms me telling me that i have no fault and saying that everything is his fault. What fault does he have to blame on himself?! I really don't understand. Not a single thing about him. I'm so speachless. He told me he will be back to himself again. Asking me not to cry again. What can i say? If that is what he think, I've got nothing to say now...

Woots! I just came back from outside. Went k box after cell with ben and gang. Well, Goes really well. We had alot of funs! So tired man! Everyone was so tired after that. Only left filbert and ash that they were gaying around. lols. Funny guys. Ben send me home. [ Thanks ] .

While i was at k box. Keep thinking of him. Hais. I can't say much. What is over means it is over. Since he said ' friends forever' . So be it then. I'll just repect him with his desicion. I guess he couldn't bother about me anymore. Must be thinking that i'm real irritating and lucky i wasn't his girlfriend now huh. Hais. I'm so speachless...

Well, Back to my blog. Yesterday was a total bad day for me. For the first four period of lesson, I couldn't speak a word. Just no voice came out of me. So i use my hand to write out what i want to say. Well, In total, I can do one four page story. ' Story of voiceless girl.' People ask me what happen to me. But i couldn't reply. Seriously, I don't know why. Maybe i was depress the whole day? Ended up like that? Well, I don't know.

After recess, Okay. My voice came back . Not really full got back. But at least i no need to write. My voice is like so high pitch! Doesn't sound like me at all!! Mrs soh thought i was faking. But i'm not! LOls. So everyone just laugh and irritate my voice. Freaking irritating. So when i got in Mr tan period. On the second period, My voice came back!! Yeah!! So happy! Relief that my voice is back. No more irritation!! Haha.

Well, Kinda miss him a times. I don't know why. I really don't know why. I couldn't be bother at stuff after it. But this time. It just bother me so much!! ARh!! He kinda aviod me like that. Called him yesterday. As in. like how we always so. Then he doesn't seems to be bother about i called. He hears like he don't want to hear my voice and stuff. Haix. Why will it become like this leh? Anyway. Thanks for the people who worried about me. But i'm okay. Don't worry about me.

I know no use is crying, But i'm just simply sad. I couldn't really do things well. I wanted to cry so much when i was in school. But then. Hello? SChool?! No way. Just try to act normal as much as i can then. I just couldn't concentrate much. People around know what happen. All ask me the same question . 'WHy not continue?'. Well, Its hard to say About that. It seems as if... Haix.. i really don't know what to do. I couldn't say i love you now. Don't want your brain to go mess up again.

Well, I guess today 14th jan its the end. He put, ' I think is time to put to an end to it and give it all up since there is no point holding on anymore.' I think he is right. We're together cause of jj. Since jj stuff its over. What's more to be together. But there is really alot of sweet memories. When ever i'm angry. He will be there to help me. My birthday he bought me presents. So as christmas. Yet i didn't do any good things for him. I couldn't even make him smile cause of me. I guess i got too serious in this isn't it? Silly me...

Oh well, Kinda tired after cell group and bbq. Everything went okay i guess. Didn't really get to interact with the sec ones. Was helping one of the girl who have problem. Well I don't know much. That's all i can say for that.

He left without telling me. I saw him went off, So as he saw me on my way. Couldn't say anything much. Guess we're going to end... Some how i'm sad. 'Sumting is not meant to last', that what he put. Tell me i'm childish or what, I don't want to end it like that! I wanted to give up, EVerytime i do, He will just make me feel that i can't give up. Now i don't want to give up, He is telling me to. I really don't know what to say. It just sadden me.

Well, Time just fly fast! Its already Wednesday today and tomorrow will be Thursday! Haven't get much of my books yet. So will have a bit hard time to get my homework done. But hey! I'll do my best alright? Haha. N level this year, CPA paper coming also. DnT have to use lots of thinkings of how can we design right. Guess i don't have much time around either huh.

Well, People will ask me how's school. Of course i'll reply that its okay. But they've never asked me, How am i feeling today or how am i feeling now? Have been abit down and moody. Some time, You think that you've sovle your problem, But actually you're running away from it. Well, That's what happen to me now. I thought i've sovle the problem i have. But i just realise, I'm actually running away from it. I can't even think properly in the right way. I couldn't even eat well just now. I just can't get things right for now.

Kinda have a silent thingy between me and him. Seems like the questions i put on my nick, He some how reply me. Is he going to let me go cause of what i have put in my nick? I don't know.. But everytime i think about it... I couldn't answer myself either. If this is how we're going to end it. I couldn't do anything either right? I just have to carry on life. But happy memories is still with me. . . .

ALL RYT!! FEELS THE BEST AROUND A LONG DEEP SLEEP!!

Finish camp today. To summary the whole thing in camp, 1 FAITH'07 , You guys are so cute that i love you guys so much! Even though i wasn't there when the camp, I'm happy that you guys are still Okey when i'm back!

End of the camp, We, councillors had a debrief. It was a very succesfull camp. So is the Teachers of the sec ones say so too! Haha. Wasn't really paying attention much as i slept in camp around 2-3 Hours . Haha. Well, Voices change abit. Haha. Help around as much as i can in camp. LOls.

He took the same class as me. But he just slack around and let me do all the work. Ass la him! Sometime i just think whether what he is thinking is just rumours is said.. or just its his thinking and i just won't take it? Guess i'll just leave it for a moment then.

Well... Went out with class mates. Didn't really hang out. Me and april left early. Wanted to play pool. But roslee got chase out. Sit around and wait to time past. Met song ern around 8+. Pass to him his stuff.. want to get some text book. But can't find any. So accompany him to find some stationarys. After a while, finish buying his stuff.. We went our seperate ways. I wasn't feeling happy nor sad to leave. Just feeling moody. Have this uneasy feeling. Buddy knew what happen. Don't want people to worry either. So i just keep it to myself. I'm happy that people do worry about me. But i just want to be who i am. Even if i change. I'll pray hard that i'll change to a better person.

2oo7 is here. Just can't wait to see what will happen to my life. School is starting tomorrow. Got a feeling that i won't have any good start. But if it happen, just take it and go on. Taking N level this year. Have to study hard. I don't wan to let anyone down. Neither do i want to let myself down. So i just have to work hard to get what i want to get.

Well.. I'm back from my trip to malaysia! Haha. I bet people around miss me! haha. I do have fun around. Went out to jusco with my cousins. To be acurate , we went there 3 time. lols. First time was with Yee shen, Xiang yoon, Mangali, Ah xin, Ah ling and of course there is me! lols. Went to play around , eat and more play around. Play bowling with them. Kinda fun. Haha. With some stupid style of ours. Lols. Second time was only 4 of us! Sad... Its me , yee shen, xiang yoon and mangali. We went to watch movie together. It was ' Night of the musium. '. A funny and kinda stupid show.. How about... Would you like a stupid stone calling you dumb dumb and telling you to give him gum gum.? lols. And alot of cute stuff. Lols. We went to play pool. Mangali vs xiang yoon and me vs yee shen.

While i was playing. I found out that there is this few guys looking at me. I thought they just watching a girl playing a pool like an idiot, but then, They start to come to be and said this to me. ' Hey miss, Erm.. Can we make friends?' . My brain was like.. Hello?! I'm not interested as you're not having a very good appearance and i bet that you smoke? So of course i turn them down. Wasn't feeling good either. As in the way i feel about stuff going around. Well.. Just be it then.

Went to ah xin and xiang yoon school to take their result. Ah xin got 5 D and 3 E. Lols. And xiang yoon got 7 E and 1 D!. lols. But lucky enough that they can promote. Haha. Then we just play around with they score. Lols.

Did some painting when we went back. Lols. Ended up xiang yoon and me had a paint fight! Lols. Of course i lose to him. Well... Then we make a mess and ended up got some scolding by aunt. Lols. Try to clean up as many as we can. Wait.. Not WE! Its me! That ass cousin of mine. Only know how to make a mess and not helping around to clean . Well. We just do some cleaning that's all. Yups. Then slack around watch my cd that i brought back.

I miss my cousin. But i need to come back to singapore. Having n level On 2007! No time to play anymore. Study and study!! Get top in class!! haha.

Well.. I was reading some of my friends blog. And their tag blog. Is full of crap. As in.. People go to their blog to tag and telling them to mind their own problem. One even wanted to frame my friend by saying stuff that isn't true? The most silly part is that... They're not any younger now. Wasting time also. What on earth is things becoming.? Okey. I did have this kind of things happen to me last year. By saying that i stare at time at town. Hello?! Why would i stare at you when i don't even know you?! Saying that i have no balls to show myself out. Why would i want to fight with you with stuff that isn't true? Silly people. End up . its luke's God-sister's friends? I don't even know you guys?! I didn't even hear there before either! People now a days like to do this stuff huh. Silly people.. Silly me...