hAix... don't know where to start ... hm... just say the starting of today ba? hm... quite sad la... today he didn't came to school... then recess... walk pass his class... thought i saw him... i think i see wrong ppl ba... sho sad... miss him sho much... die le la.. i now crazy over him le... even dough i don't know him much... i never talk to him before... but i don't know why... i'm crazy over him...yesterday kind of wait for him.. but he didn't appear... then i just go home... then ... haix.. today never come... hope he tml got come to school ba... hehe... hmm... then same old mi... go eat... sms in class... haiz... then CF that time... terence..melvin... jeffery... and jonathan ba... or is eugene? can't remeber... came to moi class... then terence told moi that he know who take my $30.. i was very blur... i huh at them.. then i go out of moi class and talk nicely... then terence tell mi is melvin and jeffery take moi money.... i knew it! it was them... then i was actually forgive him... then suey suey.. ms lim lai liao!... then ms lim scold them ask why they outside two agape classroom... then terence tell ms lim... know liao... then make moi have to write sentance... stupid lor!!! after school.. i go home take jersy then go school again... i go to pastoral care room... melvin and jeffery were outside..(as usual.. got punish..)melvin beg mi to help him... ask mi to suan le... i wan to... but i can't... if i continue treat them nicely... they will take avantage of mi again...i just need to punish him! then sudden chen ning tell mi that later pastor wee will pull mi out for a moment to bible study... i very angr y lor... he wan mi to train propurly... then now pull moi put... how am i going to train nicely... then i go out... melvin and jeffery keep beg moi... i was going to cry le lor... i feel so guilty... they are my juniors...and... this happen to mi and him... i was going to cry le... then teacher came.. and friends came by.... then i was not in a mood to do anything le lor... i feel sho sad!


now i feel so sad... my friend ask mi to offline and relax... i don't know... i just feel like i hate myself... i wan to kill myself... i very tired of all this... cry everyday... not once to be happy all times... ppl insult mi... boss mi around...scold mi... i really can't take it... can some one tell mi wad to do? pls...

ok... i broke up with him le... coz i think we don't suit to be together... our back ground is like different back group... plus... i don't wan him to waste his time.... found i already found someone i like in the begining... then i also feel so bad... haix... don't know wad to do... haix... ls still waiting for mi... i didn't tell him anything...i don't dare... i'm afraid... haiz... don't know la...

yeah... back with another days of mine... don't know how to phrase it.. hehe... hmm... ok la... start with something quite happy in my mind...


well.... a guy( i can't sae who iz it...) he has been waiting for mi from last year till now... yeah... then he ask mi for stead...hm... take mi few daes to think... yeah... i accept him... yeah! haha... but... i have something in my heart that i don't dare to tell him... i wanted to ask him to give mi more time... coz before him... i had a crush on a guy for quiet long time? i don't dare to tell him... i'm afraid he will got upset... he say he will lay his life on mi no matter wad... and he promise mi say that he will make mi happy no matter wad... i'm really afraid .. all guy say that... but in the end? is still the same as end up... even now my heart is not fully in him... i don't know how... sometime i will have a very deep feelings for him... sometime not... LS is waiting for mi... i told him... 'one month... wait for mi one month... i may not be yours ... if you wan... you can wait....' i don't know wad to do with LS... he sms everyday... saes that miss mi badly... somethings i wanted to ask... am i that good for guys target? i can see sho many ppl that is much better then mi... haiz... i don't know... yeah... maybe takes time... hmm... i don't know... can say that is again unknown? don't know...


yeah... yesterday talk on the phone with april... then mr tan call her father... then talk talk talk... then become i talk with her father... then say must talk bout study... don't keep talk bout bois all that... i also blur... i keep saying ... orh... orh... haha... then ok... talk back with april... then have to hang up le... sho sad.. stupi dlor... hm... yeah...

wah!!! can't my life be quieten down? after zong yang NOT EASY quieten down... now guess who is it? GUO WEN... but the situation is not the same... is coz of some things... ok... ***THOSE FRIEND OF MINE! WHO USE TO TALK TO MI OR ANYTHING ON THE PHONE.. I HATE...

1. QUARRELING WITH PPL...
2. SAY A GUY NAME THAT I HATE VERY MUCH...
3. FORCING PPL TO SAY SOMETHING THAT YOU DON'T WAN TO SAY..

don't say i never tell you guys... if this does... usually will end up quarreling... but for mi... if not happy... don't be friend! really... coz of this three... i and guo wen quarrel... and i say... if you don't like it we can break friend ship...and also cry coz of this... he ask mi...is he a trust worthy guy... i say i don't know... i never talk to him more then one hour when i know him... onli recently... and coz of some things... he got angry easily.. haiz.. i can't help much even dough i help my friends on love relationship...or friendship.... haix... i don't know wad to say la... just hope that no more friend ship will be broke lor... hiax....

hm... ok... i'm alrite bout mi and zong yang matter... but hey! i'm still a kid! haha... sho will be childish... haha... hm... SORRY HOR ZONG YANG... PIG!!! haha... hm... yeah... letting ppl worry i will feel guilty... yeah...cry today... then let janet saw... then she ask mi wad happen to mi... then i tell her nothing... but... at least i know they still care for mi...

starting i was very angry with zong yang... i saw him i try to aviod him... then he sms mi 'still hate mi ah?can i see you oneday ... i clarify everything..' then guess wad i reply? coz in a rude way... hehe... i say' see mi for wad?! there is nothing to clarify...'... my mind was very angry... once i see him... i will be very angry... then he reply say' ze xuan i know you are not like that de...give mi a chance to clarify everything...' same thing i reply him a rude way... then i went to but two packet of water... one for mi and another is for si han... i go back to chaple basement... pass the water to si han... then go out... zong yang wad outside there waiting for mi... i was freak out... then i just put on my happy mask on... talk less then five min... then i walk away le... coz i can't listen... or i will burst wil tears... while i walking away... tear came down... then i sms zong yang..' zong yang... think this is the last time we will face to face talk le... i can't be putting on happy mask while my heart inside say that i'm sad...' then no reply... i went for my cell group activity... go walk don't know how many km... walk 4 hours... then i walk and think... untill i'm clear bout my mind... really thank God that i've gone tot he walk... or else i'll still be angry with zong yang... yeah... then sms him say sorry.. then never reply... i thought he angry with mi lor... then he is not... we break friendship and together again become together friendship le! hehe... yup..

why is my life like that? i trust him sho much... and now i found out that he play timer!!! is God testing mi my patients? if yes... sorry i could'nt pass the test... is just that... i trying to trust ppl... and now he make mi not to trust him...and i will have to start all over again... why is this happening to mi ? ppl wan mi to be happy... but everytime there is somethings sad or angry stuff... why?! i very tired of this... i wan to end it... i'm very tired.... i can't carry on this kinds of things le... let mi rest in peace... don't disturb mi anymore... please...

haha... now i also don't know my heart is happy or sad... don't know how to sat also... haha... everytime confuse with this... haha... hm... tml 40th anniversary... must pray for my school! haha... love my school more then i love my house? haha... hm... like to be with friends lots... very scared to be alone... haha... hm... then friday lucky got things on... so will not be sianz day... haha... hm...


my life kind of boring day? haha...also love to cry le ba? don't know... little things then i cry le...haha... i'm crazy le ba... i'm getting weaker ? haha... don't know... also don't know wad to le... haha... think i'll stop here... buaiz... muackz!