haix.. its been one month plus that mi and mye dear didn't go out.. haix.. i really miss him alot.. even though he is in mye heart.. haix.. dear.. your birthday coming le.. i really wish to celebrate it with you even though you didn't get to celebrate mye birthday.. if can't celebrate your birthday with you.. i also got nothing to say.. i'll just be sad ba.. haix..

papa[ryan]'s grandpa just pass away.. i'm sure his feeling very sad now. is like mie last year.. mye grandma pass away also.. i was crying the whole three days.. till now.. i still feel very sad.. very very sad .. i miss her alot.. can't believe she just gone like that.. things change without her.. she is the best grandma i ever had.. no one can replace her in mye heart.. its really really painfull to see some one you love alot that leave you in a sudden... so i can't affort to lost another one that i love alot.. that is mye dear..haix..

school reopen.. have been quite busy and tiring.. everytime from school go home.. the first thing i'll do is to sleep.. even if i go out.. i also will go home and sleep.. then if i sleep.. i will wake up on 8 plus to see is dear dear online anot.. awake till 11 12+.. then go sleep again.. i miss one time of talking to him.. i already feel damn sad le.. haix.. dear.. i do wish to talk to you everyday like wad we use to be.. i really miss you lots.. hope you do so.. haix...

haix.. ok.. i admit.. i did cry for the past few days.. haix.. first thing.. should i quit table tennis or not? haix.. i'm sick of it le.. i don'tknow wad to do.. was is the use of mi going or doing something when mye heart isn't in it? haix.. mr tan was asking mi wad is going on.. mi myself also don't know wad is going on.. haix.. wad i wan also.. i dont' know!! haix.. wad to do now???? arh!!!

i miss him so badly.. i really wan to see him asap.. or our relationship is getting far and far away.. haix.. i really love him lots lor.. he is the guy that will make mi be loved.. he is the guy who let mi love him.. which let him fall in love with him.. i promise him that i won't break with him.. then few month ago.. mi already told calvin and say out that i love luke and i won't ever break with him.. this is promise and i won't break it.. i say it.. i will do it.. no matter how hurt i get from him.. i won't break with him.. coz i just love him lots.. there is no words for mi to say out how much i love him.. haix.. i just really really love him la.. haix..

wow! seems like its been a long time that i've not been update mye blog.. hmm... school just started.. time fly fast! one week is gone and another week has come.. misses him real lots.. haven't been seeing him for 3 weeks le! his phone spoilt... kinda hard to contact him.. wonder wad is he doing now.. haix.. hardly talk to him also.. haix.. hope his doing fine ba.. yup! hmm.. last week having sec one camp.. i just simply love 1DEVOTION!! [[ but of coz i also love you dear..]] hehe.. was quite easy to take care of them.. they are just simply cute and inocent! one little guy can lead the whole class.. ain't they cute?! haha.. was quite stress... ppl took care of 1D is mi.. sean and sandra.. helpers for hpt is kah wee and yi yong.. befriender is zhan qing and pearlyn.. then i'm the onli one that is hpt lor!! its just totally sux la! sandra and sean won't know anything bout hpt de.. then kah wee kept saying wad.. better do wad i am suppose to do.. is like.. wah liao! sandra and sean is also here wad.. tell them also la!! haix.. then i did everything and as much things as i could with them.. starting it was the games.. after every game they have done.. they wan us to have a debrief with them.. asking them what they learn during the camp all that.. everything i'm doing .. no one is helping mi.. ask sean to take over.. all he can do is.. 'huh? wad to say.?? ehh..' that all he could say.. then after that.. sandra and to go ushering.. then sean will have to go to do his mc.. i'm like.. wah liao.. kah wee can't help mi de.. i was like.. wad to do?!?!?!?! haix.. in the end.. yi yong came and help out with the camp fire.. 'phew'! after that.. mi taking over again.. its easier for mi .. on the camp fire.. i just love it! seeing those cute little gals and guys.. i'm really happy for them.. after that.. went to have supper.. and some take showers.. after everything.. they going to sleep.. i know there will be a debrief.. i just don't like having debrief.. a whole day with stress.. is really enough for mi plus not intreaseted in HPT?!??!?!?! then i start to cry out.. i just can't hold it back.. miss him so badly which didn't see him so so long.. and handling class with stuff that i'm even sure of wad to do.. and next will have a debrief?! i just can't take too much stress to myeself.. haix.. cry and cry.. then pastor wee and cherlene saw mi cry.. they came over and comfort mi.. i was telling pastor wee how much i wanted to quit hpt.. but i just don't dare.. kept on crying and crying.. untill pastor wee told clement bout wad happen.. i was so shock la.. starting i didn't know clement know bout it.. after talking to pastor wee.. then go take sleeping bag.. going up to the hall.. then clement saw mi and say can he talk to mi for a moment..? i was like.. wah liao.. die liao lor.. but! ok.. is clement.. think can talk to him easier also ba.. then told him how i felt all along... and then when i'm ok.. wen wei came and join in.. then cherlene came in too.. as she lost her mp3.. hp.. cam just in two weeks!!! can you believe that?! if is mi.. i will just kept on crying and crying la!! wah liao .. then after that.. after everything.. at least i got some sleep.. next day.. after sec one camp.. have to go sec three camp.. but i use table tennis as excuse.. i didn't go.. i just didn't wan to go at all la!!! totally no mood for anything.. hiax..