haix... wad a sad day for mi... coz of someone i fell for... also don't kow why will sudden like him... think he know bout it? he don't even talk to mi now... then my friend ask mi to forget bout him... i don't know... i don't know... i don't know....

i don't know he still treat mi as a friend anot? haix... why the word love most of the time appear in my mind? haix... then coz of this... i secretly cry in my room as acting that i'm asleep... don't wan my mum to know that i'm crying... this year is the year that i cry the most... is like.. i cry is either of friendship... or relationship problem...

got back my hp le... thought will be more happy... but no... my happiness don't know gone where... is like... sudden i can't find it... hm... maybe i think too much ba...

wah liao... my friend was in a bad mood today... then i say cheer up... don't be sad... now is my turn! no one understand mi...most friends bully mi... very hard to talk to those ppl that are nice to mi... i was out with my friends... go to her christmas bash... my mum call mi to go home... that is... 9+ she call mi.. then my friend say is untill 10.30... then going to finish le... my friend tell mi maybe 11 finish...i was... huh... then i and wilfred faster go le... take taxi...

then is like not fair lor... both of my sista can go out so late onli i can't... even my mum say i'm a gal cannot go out till so late... my both sista go out... not to school or work... can go till like very late lor... and my mum didn't scold them didn't take their hp... and today... is my unhappy day... i was late go home... at least i try to get home fast... reach home... mum came out from her room... scold mi ask mi where i go... and i tell her le... then she ask mi where is my hp... next time then no need to call mi le... if she worry bout mi... care for mi... she at least show it to mi? and not there scolding mi....i broke a plate last time... then she was scolding mi... and never ask mi did i get hurt or wad....just continue scold mi... did she ever know my feeling...

i was stress and having pressure since i'm young...my marks didn't pass... she was scolding like hell... say i'm the stupidest in my family... i was really heard lor... then untill when i'm P6 PSLE.... go school to get my score... it was 109/200... and get top EM3... i was so happy... then my sista came to my school... when she knew the score... she was happy for mi also... then go home happily... told my mum everything... and guess wad she say? 'onli 109... just pass onli...'(in chinses) when i heard that... i was really hurt much lor... i study so hard... get quite good score... and go home... let my mother school say i'm so stupid... i ran to my room and keep crying... untill i fell asleep... i wake up and i'm still hurt... i always wan to forget all how she hurt mi... but she evrytime like that... she is not hurt but i'm hurt...i always think... am i from this family? my elder sis look like my dad... my second sis look like my mum... and mi? they all say i look like my aunt... all my sis could do... onli i can't do...

i also think is that... why is she doing this to mi? i just don't know... all i feel is that i'm deeply hurt... don't wanna say anymore... or i'll cry more....

haiz... i'm angry plus sad! why can't i just have a happy life alway....

let say bout angry stuff...marucs chen qi liang!!! i hate him... ppl have limits... and he keep doing it again and again... all the starts i'm already in a bad mood... just trying to be happy... all thanx to him that i very angry... ha... he still can laugh out with he make ppl angry... wad a 'nice' guy he was huh?i just wanna have a normal happy life... and one person will sure show up and make mi sad or angry... why is my life that bad? is my life full of sadness and angriness and less happiness? haiz...

sad... as usual...now is worst... SOMEONE.. don't even talk to mi .... haiz... i don't care le... maybe going to give up soon... when i know his answer... haiz... hope lee sheng don't see this... all he will be very disappointed...: (

yo yo yo!!! another blog today le... haha..hmm... today go training... training just start... then funny stuff happen... haha... guess wad is that? sea-lion wife(angela) step on a ball... haha... too haevy le la... haha... that's why nearly bian... haha... then play 1vs1... i siao de lor... going to win thenat last also lost! then i was shouting(not so loud) and jumping lor.. so angry... haha... hm... then keep looking at someone...=D don't tell is who... haha... haha... gonna miss most is him? then my bhbttgt! haha... erm... then break time... saw him... hehe... think he never notice mi ba... haha... then sonia say... he never come down... then i tell her that he gone up le... haha... hm... don't know leh... keep looking at him lor... don't know wad will happen if i tell him i like him....haiz... like that de hua... sure will kana rejected... i also don't wan to be violent sometime... i just can't change... is so hard to change... i'm afraid that... when that day i change not to be violent... he already will be gone?

i really like him... can be crazy bout it lor...hm... maybe i'll just give up again when i just like him and kinda know his answer?hm... i'll just don't know... very less % i can get close to him ba... hm... just will miss him lor... haiz... so xing tong... but... no choice... that is wad God had plan for mi... hm...

since i'm so lazy to write out letter for them... i'll write here... hope they will read it....

to sonia...
soneh! gonna miss you guyz you know? i'll try to buy present for you de... hm... must jia you on table tennis...hm... must miss mi kz? sure gonna miss you guy....

xin yu...
xin you!!! haha... hm... when i'm gone... don't be so bhb le ok? must be more bhb... haha... jk jk... hm... i'll be missing you and the others... must miss mi back ok? ahah....

pei li...
ah li! haha... hm... you hor... hair very nice le la... i buy more shampo for you wan? haha... since you say your hair not smooth enough... gonna miss you!

ade....
ade!!! miss mi hor... don't care ar... must miss mi...dont' care hor... or i don't give you present ar... haha.... let you know something... eddie love you!!! haha...

joey...
zhu zai! haha... joey ... sorry... wannted to write lettter for all of you guyz.. but lazy... hehe... don't worry de... i know you will grow tall de...hhehe=)

angela...
carby... sea lion wife... haha... try to walk straight hor... or we will call you craby 4eva!!! haha....

guy-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
marucs....
marcus... i very good de hor... i will miss you when i see..... somethings cannot say... hm... when i'm back i'll tell you something sad for mi... =(

wai hong...
yoz... haha... when i'm back... i'll sure i'll win you de!don't care... i ask sonia to trash you ar...haha... try to talk to the other table tennis gals also ba... hehe...

arron...
arron! haha... when i'm back... i'm sure i can shout louder then you de... haha... .hm... sometime must let mi win de ok? haha...

yee pong...
yoz yoz yoz.l.. haha... you hor... cannot watch too much RA ar... haha... you mind sure will go to RA de.. haha... jk jk....

yi yang...
one sheep... two sheep... three sheep... four sheep...ZzZzZz... oh... paiseh... haha... fell asleep while counting sheep... haha... ok la... you hor... don't be so bad go block some of the gals hor... be social la... always see you with same ppl de..... haha...


that's all i'll should be writing for those ppl close and quiet close to mi de... haha....heh... for the others... you should know de la... don't be so naggy... haha...

halo!!!my birthday over for 7 days le... got one prob la... the dog... is not onli benjamin give de... is the whole titus share money give de... hehe...=D....

just happen to like a guy... can't believe it...haha... not jj jui shi le... haha... onli treat him as a friend ba.... hm... i kinda crazy bout the guy i know... think of him... look at his photo...(havest book2004)
hehe... can't tell who izzit... don't wan too many ppl know... haha... too bad i can't tell him that i like him... or he will not talk to mi again... =(

hm... tml afternoon going to malaysia le... sianz... cannot see him... and also miss our bhbttgt(boey hel bai table tennis gal team) haha... hm... i miss them much... even if i go malaysia for 5 days onli... but i will still miss them much... hm... don't know wad to write bout my life le... hehe... have to go... buaiz...

i'm so happi! so happi.... happi ... happi... happi!!! haha... ok... really happi lor... coz today is my birthday! let mi say who give my present... derek gave mi a heart shape necklace and a circle watch... then chze sing and cherlene share present that they gave mi ... then my one of my favarite de... is a soft toy doggy! haha... from benjamin chua... then at nite... bryan call mi and say he and wen zhang going to reach my house downstair...then i ask for wad... then he say to pass mi stuf... no need to say is presents la... then they come... i nearly cry lor... hehe... coz i very long never see them le...then coz of mi come all the way to my house here.... really wan to thanx them... then talk talk talk.... then wen zhange give mi a 'me to you' bear... don't know how to say... but very expencive de... then bryan gave mi a bracelet... with my name on it... is a 925 sliver de lor... sure very expencive... then untill 9.30pm then they go off le...hope can see them soon ba... then table tennis...joey gave mi a cuddley bear... haha... very soft and nice to touch... then pei li and marcus... gave mi a birthday bear also... all of them are so good to me... then go home... mum say she and my sis going out to buy something... then go liao... few min my dad come bac... then few min my mum also come back... then saw they taking a hp box... then is for me! is a nokia 2600 de.. so happi... thanz mummy and jie... hehe...then my dad gave mi $100 for present... hehe...

ok... let start today wad happen... starting surpose to go out with marcus... wai hong... yee pong... jia hao... benjamin...to watch movie... then was kinda late la... then they come out and look for me... then don't know why suddenly don't feel like going to watch de... then we talk talk talk till i say ok lor... hehe... then he treat la... haha..then finish liao... then take bus go to school... then marcus and wai hong go buy uper sec pants... then mi go 7 /11 then jia hao... benjamin... and yee pong go and eat...then i reach school first... then come back then coach inside liao...then start training lor... then break... then yi yong group of hpt wad there sitting... then thanx to sonia that she ask them to sing birthday songs to me... to embraess lor... somemore so loud also... haha... then go back training till go home time... mr tan call mi..go stuff room..then he open his drawer... ask mi chose one of the 4 or 5 type of candle holder... stupid lor... but never mind la... then give mi a m&m choc.... then going home liao eat ice cream... then take mrt then go home liao lor... then dad gave mi 100 bucks... then mum buy my hp lor... hehe... ok la... i'll end here... buaiz!