i don't know where should i start. haix.

looks like mi and derrick didn't last long also. its mi again. all started because of me. haix. we had some problem past few days. which i don't wish to say it here. i won't forget about it. i can't forgive myself and i can't forgive him. another reason. is because of the guy i use to be with and i love him very much. the second time this had happen. i really don't know wad can i do. all i can do. is to wait. or give up on relationship. sometime i'm tired of waiting. very tired. just wish i can close my eyes and rest. rest as long as i can. today is the 2nd month 2nd day that we've broke up. i wish i could go back that time. when we were together. i really wish that. i miss him very much. i really do......

today went cine with tiffany. to meet evan as she wanted to buy stuff for her bf. before we go search for the present we stay at cine arcade to play para. when i was playing. i was looking around. then guess who i saw? it was HIM!! i was happy. but same as i was sad in my heart. i didn't play properly. i wanted to cry out. but i just could. all i can do there. just try to smile. i miss him so much. if i hadn't stead with anyone. i will still have chance to be with him. back to him again. when my grandma pass away. i told myself. i can't lost another one that i love. but now. i lost both of them. i don't know wad to say. but. i just feel very sad. very very sad. i'm so lost. i'm so tired . so tired. ppl ask mi stop thinking of him. but i can't. ask mi don't love this kind of guy . but i can't! i just love him too much. love him too much. and just too sudden that i've lost him. which i love him that much. i use to have this feeling. but it was lost long time ago. maybe because that is my first love ba. but. after so so long. no one let mi have this feeling. this deep feelin of love. its not easy to have this feeling again. now i've lost it again. i don't know how am i going to find it back.

all i can do is to lock myself in a room and cry. i really don't know wad to do now. seeing him today. makes my heart. happy . but same sad. i really hope there will be a chance for us to being together. or i maybe thinking too much. i'm really happy for tiffany and fadzli. they broke up coz of a reason. but in the end. they patch again as they love each other so much. haix i love him. i miss him alot now. i just wish. . . u will be by my side again. i really do. . . . . .