haix. i've tried and tired. i just can't forget bout him. i've tried to to stead with jason again. but i've failed. starting i thought its ok. going quite well. but till that day. the day mi and him start to talk. the feeling same back to mi again. i really wan him back. back by my side. i miss him badly. my heart still have him in my heart. i just have the strong feeling for him. i really need him. i've been abusing my body past few days. i do not wish to list out wad i've done. haix. i'm so depress . who can tell mi wad can i do? haix. today in class. i went over to asree there to talk to them. then my english teacher was askin wad happen to charlene. all of them said that she died or comide sucide. i feel so ke lian for her. she didn't do anything wrong also. hiax. then say she cut herself all that. then my left thumb have a smiley face as my friend drew it on. then asree saw. was pulling my hand. then i tried to take his pencil case to cover the lines. but i've failed. i've failed to hide away from shuan. he was like..' KILLING YOURSELF?! ' i just shake my head and ask him to keep quiet.after that. we start to talk again. say who like who now and in the past. shockin news that asree and gregory like mi in the past. haix. even if they like mi now. i also don't know wad to say. my heart onli have luke in it. haix. *crying* i really don't know wad to do. all i wan is him by my side again. haix. sometime i will call him wrongly by namin him dear. haix. yesterday surppose to be our 4th month anniversary. but we broke up exactly one month ago. haix. i miss him so much. actually on sunday i can meet him! but failed. he said he saw mi. but i didn't. i told him how i feel. telling him how much i wanted to see him and how much i miss him! haix. he seems to think i onli treat him as a friend? haix. till i as him ' wad if i tell u now that i still love you? ' till that. he didn't reply mi anymore. he stop msgin mi again. do you know how i feel u treat mi like that mah? haix. i also don't know wad to do. haix.