I feel as if i don't exist in the family,
They can remember my sister,
Yet they just don't remember me.

Was talking on the phone with him.
Remind me about the past.
It was so horrible.
Grandma past away on my birthday.
No one wished me happy birthday either.
No present from anyone.
If they think i will understand for them doing that,
But do they still think that i'm still a kid at that time?
I need love and care too.

Christmas, Everyone was looking forward to their present.
So was i, wondering what kind of things i'll get.
The time has come, giving out presents.
Waiting name to be called.
Till left a little,
Everyone got theirs,
But i don't have any at all..
I really meant it. I didn't had anything.
Gale at least had one.
Make me feel so dumb.
As if i don't belong there. Or i should be around.
I wanted to cry. I really wanted to.
My name, I don't think i even exist much.

What will happen this year?
Same thing?
Tears roll on my birthday.
Nothing receive at christmas?

I feel so hurt.
I want to cry so badly.
I think Dear was worried after i told him.
As he wanted to go sleep.
End up after hang up, He called again just to check.
I did cry. I just don't want him to think so much.
Sometime, by listening to his voice, I will feel so much better without saying anything.

I so not looking for my birthday and Christmas this year.
Thinking the same thing going to happen,
Its going to hurt me so much more.
Tears going roll alot too..

Making things feel i don't exist anymore...