I feel so lost.
Everytime i'm on the phone with you, i feel so happy, forget every sad moments.
When we hung up, I'll start to think again.
What do you think about me?
What am i to you?
what do you treat me as?

All sorts of question just pop out.
At times, I will even have the imagination of you betray me.
I know thinking this doesn't help.
But this is how insecure i feel.

Maybe i was too innocent in the past that i won't think about it.
Now i've grown up and learn.
I tried not to care about you too much.
For the sake of our 'break up' future.
For the sake of my heart won't hurt so much.
For the sake of me not getting depress.

I don't know is it true that you actually read my blog,
But this is how i feel all along.
Sometime i wonder,
What is important to you now?

Being selfish at this time,
Maybe i just feel too much pressure due to N level.
When i need some one so much,
I always hope it will be you...
Always ended, It was someone else.
When this happen, i always thinking of,
is it worth it for me to wait for you all this time?

When i just want to hear those words that comfort me.
I always hope that it will you to say it to me.
Always ended up, someone else that is always there for me.
When i wanted to call or need you so much, I always think what are you doing...
Thinking if you're having fun and i called that could spoil your mood.

Tell me if i said this that is not true to you.
I really don't know.
I felt like, I don't know who are you at all.
All i know is your name, age, DOB , School.
That's all. I don't know how you are like at times,
I don't know how you were in the past.
I don't know your thinking at all.

Buddy every time ask me to talk to you to distress.
And every time i'll say, ' I don't know what is he doing and he didn't contact me or ask me how i feel. So i don't want to contact him to spoil his day.'
Continued, Do you really love him? And does he really love you?
What should i answer?
Now, i feel that words come from every where, Seems so fake to me.
Nothing seems real to me now.
I don't feel confident as much as i do in the past.
I don't know now...
Tell me.. Tell me.. tell me what can i do now...

I feel so depress, dear...
Help me..