Guess jia wei was right after all. I don't worth to be talking about love. That's why i have that much ex stead. Maybe that's my problem from the start. I don't treasure people that love me alot.

Was crying terribly. Was talking on msn with jia wei. Normally we will talk as a friend after we broke up. But yesterday was different. I thought he might help me with my problem now. End up talking about the pass. Telling me to give up like how i give up on him last time. I wasn't sure what is he talking about at first. Then slowly end up saying that i don't worth for anything. He is right about me still love someone which is not on earth already. [ Which is my grandma ] . But i thought him. Love is not only Loving a guy and not a women. But it seems like he just won't listen to me.

After that he ask me my house door number is what number. Then i told him. Then he say what , Thought he wan to burn my house arh. Then i say i rather he kill me then my family. He start to say stop acting ' wei da ', say what. Cann't stand it anymore . If this is what he wanna be. means that i'm a failure of being friends with those i've hurt..Even though i wan to continue try to be friends with him again. Looks like it'll be hard. Cause if i continue talk to him. What we'll end up is talking about the pass again which seems that he won't forgive me anymore.

I thought he really understand how i feel when he put his msn nick. But guess i was wrong either. I thought mean time he will change. And will ask me for stead again. Guess i was wrong. Most of the time i kept on thinking of him. The time we hug each other when we first stead. The warm hand holding me. The kiss we had. I don't wan him to know about it. I guess he don't worth to be with me either i guess. I shall just keep all by myself then. Just hope that he is happy. That's all.


" Lord. Please show him a way that he will not be hurt anymore and be happier then he is now. Lord. i pray that he will understand more about people's feeling and he will know about you , believe in you soon. To ease all his pain away.. ... Amen"